My life is a joke

I know it’s easy to get stuck in a loop with depression. Because you’re upset it’s much harder to remember the good memories. But I feel like my life is a straight up joke. It’s so hard to connect with people and when I do they just let me down. How are some of the rudest and dumbest people able to have others in their lives? They contribute nothing and they’re a pain for everyone but they’re still tolerated and not casted away? How am I suppose to find anyone to be with? I feel like I’m never even given a chance and it doesn’t help that losing weight is so damn hard! I just want to be with someone and I don’t understand why or how it works out for other people. The only girlfriend I’ve had treated me like absolute dogshit, the one person I was able to connect with made me feel horrible every day we dated. Now I’m laying in bed all alone and it feels like my college days before we dated; all alone, wondering if anyone will ever want to be with me. I feel so unloved